Friday, January 22, 2016

Send Someone to Hell

We all probably know someone -- some public figure, entertainer, politician, actor, or celebrity, living or dead -- whom we'd like to see in Hell. There are the usual candidates: Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Jeffrey Dahmer. Or perhaps you have a pet peeve? Can't stand the sound of Justin Bieber's voice (even when slowed down 800%)? Heard a commercial for Dance Moms once too often? Bothered by Donald Trump's comb-over? Now is your chance for revenge.

You are Minos, the judge, whose tail coils 'round the sinner once for each circle of Hell they are to descend. And once you get your sinner to his or her reserved seat, don't stop there. The punishment should fit the crime, and you can be as creative as you like: trapped for eternity in a Costco? Forced to eat nothing but bags of expired, stale Cheese Doodles? Strapped to a giant turntable while some giant demon plays DJ? You pick.

So, for this week, name your victim, place them in the appropriate circle in Dante's Inferno (and explain why they are there), then describe there punishment. And don't forget to use plenty of adjectives.

26 comments:

  1. If I was to put any person living or dead into Hell it would be the Kardashians. Its not that I hate them, but so many people idolize them and I don't understand why. They have gotten so many surgeries to make them look the way they are right now, and so many girls constantly wish they looked like them. Girls should be proud of who they are and what they look like, not be ashamed. The punishment for the Kardashians would be to take back all of the surgeries, bot-ox treatments, etc. that they have had done throughout there life. Also, take away all of the makeup, hair, nails, clothes, shoes away as well. Of course this is not the harshest punishment, but I want people to notice that you do not need all of those things to be beautiful. They would be spending much time in the Fourth circle of Hell, due to hoarding possessions and lavishly spending it on nothing but themselves.

    Response done by: Jennifer Gesualdi

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    1. If I had the power to send someone to Hell, I would also send the Kardashians. If you were to watch the reality TV show the family does nothing but sit around all day and talk. People idolize them for accomplishing nothing. The family will sell and do anything for money. As a result everyone is obsessed with them. In Hell I would make it so no one would remember the Kardashian family. For this the Kardashian family would suffer, because all they care about are themselves and their fame. I would also take away the families wealth so they would have to live in poverty.

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    2. Going off these posts, I would also choose the Kardashians. Human's find so many faults in themselves and wish to become like other people. The Kardashians are a huge example of an idol. So many people look up to them and want to be them, but in reality the Kardashians cake on makeup, have had many surgeries and paid a lot of money to look the way they do. They are rude, famous for no reason, and take advantage of it. I would place them in the first circle of limbo, where they would have that confusion and scare like Dante. I would make it so they had to watch their lives and see how they have impacted people. Also, I would take away all their fame, the surgeries, and the unnecessary things they have so they could get a sense of reality.

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  2. If I had the ability to put any person into Hell I think I would have to select Roger Gooddell. His ridiculous accusations and inability to understand elementary science deserves him eternal damnation. I would place him in a conference room, filled with deflated footballs, posters of Tom Brady and the entire Patriots team. He would have no choice but be clothed in Patriots gear from head to toe, even shoes! If he removed his clothes he would be covered in Patriots body paint. There would be holographic images of Gronk spikes while every winning Patriots game played on a loop and in between games I would have Brady and Belichick post game conferences on a big screen. Every day he would get a phone call from Robert Kraft so he could laugh in his face.

    -Jessica Lako

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  3. If I had the power to put anyone I wanted into Hell, I would immediately throw Donald Trump down into the eight circle of Hell, along with all the other frauds. It’s 2016, and a person that has absolutely ZERO political experience is currently leading the Republican polls. That’s insane. Someone who has filed for bankruptcy four times, is someone who could possibly be running the country the next four years. Donald Trump is so much of a narcissist that you could make the case that he suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. He only cares about himself, and his cult following of racists that continue to support him. He actually believes that every Muslim is a terrorist, and that all Mexicans that come across the border are criminals. If you actually listen to him speak, then you will realize that, this is a man who has no moral compass, and is extremely underqualified to run a business, never mind, the United States. He himself said just last night that he could shoot somebody, and not lose any voters. Who wants a person like this becoming the Commander in Chief? Someone like Donald Trump deserves a very unique kind of torture. I would keep him strapped to a chair in front of a wall for the rest of time. On this wall lies a clock, and a television that doesn’t change from CNN. He will be forced for the rest of time to watch time pass by, and be stuck to slowly see himself become less and less relevant after he loses the candidacy to Bernie Sanders.
    - Cameron Evans

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    1. I would also put Donald Trump into hell. I would hope that the layer he was placed into was a world where he was the immigrant and had to make his way up the ladder but everyone who he met was a version of him on earth, including his most recent racist self. I would also make it so he was eternally looking at others enjoy the benefits of his hard work without receiving recognition or fair compensation. Personally I find him ignorant and would hope, for even someone I dislike as much as him, that he will eventually wise up and realize how many honest, hard working people, he is insulting and making an already difficult life harder by spreading his opinions instead of facts. Katie Cunningham

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  4. If I were to put anyone in hell it would probably be Taylor Swift. There is something about her constant positive attitude that I find irritating and completely fake. All of her songs sound the same, and they are almost all about a breakup. If I were to punish her in hell I would make her be completely by herself and incapable of finding a companion. Which for a normal person is miserable, but for someone that always seems to need a companion this would certainly be hell.

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  5. If I could send anyone to hell it would be Michael Vick. He bet money on fighting pitbulls and watched until one was literally eaten and beat to death. I would send him to the 7th layer of hell for the unnecessary and cruel violence. What kind of human gets pleasure out of watching animal violence? Also, he was still able to play football. In hell he would be surrounded by dogs that were hungry for him.

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  6. If I could send someone to hell it would surely be my neighbor. In most cases people buy a dog to spend time with it, love it, and treat it as if it were a human. However my neighbor neglects its Siberian Husky as it is outside chained to a 2 foot leash for what seems to be 10 hours a day. Not only that but its fur is everywhere matted, its so skinny to the point where its ribs are noticeably sticking out. He deserves to suffer in Hell where he can be treated the same way!
    Steven Duncan

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  7. If i could choose to send one individual to hell it would definitely be Tom Brady. i know i will surely get some upset critics towards this stance, but i absolutely hate him. I would send him to the fourth pouch of the Either Circle of Hell and have this man have his head turn backwards and he must walk forever. I myself being a colts fan have grown a hate for this man more then any other man out there! Single handedly destroying my hope as a fan for more then one superbowl several times. I could never show sympathy or grief towards this individual. He deserved the beating Denver gave him this week! and for those reasons I choose to send him to the Fourth Pouch. thank you
    Tyler Thomas

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  8. If I could send anyone to hell, I would send Barry Bonds. He broke several MLB batting records including most home runs in a single season while using performance enhancers. I would strip Barry Bonds of all his batting titles and send him to the ninth circle of hell because he is a cheater and a fraud. He betrayed his fans, his team, and the MLB by using steroids throughout his career. I would punish Barry Bonds by making him suffer all of the negative effects of steroids for eternity.
    Mary Beth Mennucci

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  9. I worked in a supermarket called Seabra for 3 years before it closed down. If I had the power to send anyone to Hell it would be all the shitty customers who gave ME Hell while working there. The ones who always came in with a complaint, the ones who always blamed the cashiers for THEIR OWN mistakes, the ones with the attitudes, the ones who insist they were right even when proven wrong. For all the times I had to hold my tongue when someone would yell and swear at me because I wanted to keep my job and for all the times I had to deal with weird old men who don’t know their limits. There are three circles that these costumers would fit into. The fourth circle, for their greed of money, the second circle, those creepy guys who are old enough to be my father/grandfather, and the seventh circle – round one, for those who never get tired of picking fights. Although in different circles they all shall receive the same punishment, chained to cinder blocks and having to walk to reach their food that never seems to get any closer, while also having ear buds glued in and listening to the Seabra radio commercials over and over again (they were pretty bad). For any whose worked in retail knows that the customer is NOT always right.

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  10. If i could send anyone to hell it would be Mike Vick, a man with every opportunity to do good for the world but instead tortures and abuses innocent dogs. I would send Vick to the deepest level of hell and have him tied up to be eaten and mauled by ravenous dogs. The man has not even come close to paying for his mistakes yet is welcomed back into the NFL. I would make sure that the only interaction he had for the rest of eternity would be with fighting dogs as they ripped him to pieces. Someone who can take innocent loving creatures and turn them against each other to kill deserves nothing but misery for the rest of their eternity.

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  11. Although I do not have the qualifications, I would send to hell all those who intentionally hurt and injure those who cannot defend themselves. There would be some leeway for those with mental illnesses who cannot control themselves and don’t mean to. But this special spot in hell would be for all those who enjoy causing pain and have no desire or hope for forgiveness. Anyone who enjoys hurting animals, children, or the elderly especially. Their punishment would be to have whatever pain they have done onto others inflicted upon themselves multiplied tenfold. And to face all their worst fears over and over again.
    Kelley Jean Horrigan

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  12. If I could send anyone to hell, it would be Donald Trump. He is incredibly rude in the remarks he makes, especially toward women. He only cares about himself, and couldn’t care less how he treats other individuals who are deserving of respect. He is too into himself and ignorant, saying that he could shoot somebody and he would not lose any voters. This is not somebody who should be running the United States. I would send him through every gate of hell so he could experience the cruelty that he puts other people through mentally.
    - Rebecca Flores

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  13. Cooper Ferreira

    If I was Minos, the judge of those who enter hell, I would be overjoyed to send most Wall Street bankers to the eighth circle of hell for there greedy lies and fraudulent actions. For example inflating the value of mortgage bonds in their own personal portfolios to make them appear more valuable. Even flat out laundering billions of dollars of drug money through banks. Even though slim to no punishment is taken in this life there afterlife decided by me, Minos, would be very different. There circle of hell would have the working class people of earth be in plain view except with them living the bankers lavish lifestyle. While the bankers are watching this, they must also watch as all of there money is burned right in front of them for eternity.

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  14. If I could place anyone in hell it would be Donald Trump. He is a very bold figure that makes rude comments towards woman and races. He has no filter and clearly does not think before he speaks. The fact that some people actually consider voting for him blows my mind. If I had a choice of what circle of hell to send him through it would be every circle. That man needs to open his mind and start thinking logically, especially if he wants to run for President. People stick up for him and say he would make a good president because he is a millionaire but if they do their research they would find out he filed for bank ruptcy. Donald Trump is the man I would send through hell.

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  15. If I were to send anyone to hell, I would also choose the Kardashians. People, especially girls, bash on themselves daily and wish they looked like other people. Many girls admire the Kardashians and wish to be like them, even though they've gotten so many surgeries to reconstruct themselves. So many people want to be like them when in reality the Kardashians wear alot of makeup, have paid a lot of money for surgeries to look how they do. In hell, I would take away their money and fame. Also, I would take away all of the surgeries and make up so they have to learn to love themselves for who they are.
    -Haley Grenier

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  16. If I could send anyone to Hell, it would be Martin Shkreli. As a disclaimer, I am not against people going into the free market and doing well for themselves and I do not disapprove of wealth or wealthy people in general. As an aggregate, most people who acquire and maintain wealth do it through legal and moral ways.
    As someone who writes and maintains a piece of software for free clinics, I look at drug prices daily. When I first heard the news that a drug used for AIDS patients went from $13.50 to $750 per pill overnight it made my blood boil. The fact that I had to go through out database and make that change to the pricing of the drug was absolutely crazy. I have seen drug price hikes to medications but never anything close to this. Sure, profits need to be made for a company to survive and continue to make more medications, but this was absurd to the nth degree.
    I would assign Shkreli to the eighth layer of hell, into Bolgia seven with the thieves. The typical punishment in this Bolgia is much more painful than psychological. I would prefer a punishment that was more of a mind game. I would put him in a room with a bag and money flying around everywhere. Tell him he had ten minutes to grab enough money to save someone in his life that he cares about. If he doesn’t the person will be brought before him and be killed painfully. The catch being that no matter how much money he retrieves, the price tag will always be one dollar more than what he has. He would have to repeat this process over and over again for eternity.
    -Erik Egge

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  17. If I wanted to send someone to hell it would be the people who have betrayed me using my kindness as a weakness. I believe that people who do this are nothing but pathetic. I believe in karma and I know that what goes around will come around. Those who have sat there, looked me in the eye and lied to me, or have done something to hurt me just as bad, they all deserve to go to hell. -Lina Nop

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  18. If I could send anyone, or a group of people to hell I would send ISIS to the Seventh Circle, more specifically the outer ring where they'll stay writhing in a river of boiling blood for eternity. For all the inhumanities and injustices they have done, especially in the middle east. Most people when they think of ISIS they will think of attacks that occurred in the Westernized worlds, and forget often that people in the middle east are losing their homes, being beheaded, set on fire, simply for what they believe in. There's a special place in hell for people who even associate themselves with ISIS, and it's the Seventh Circle Outer Ring.
    -Morgan Chaves

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  19. I can’t think of any particular person I would send to hell that hasn’t yet been named. I agree there are many people who deserve hell, but I wouldn’t want to waste my ability on someone who would end up there anyway. There is one group of people though who deserve hell regardless of their good deeds. There are plenty of bad drivers out there, but for some reason Rhode Island drivers seem to be the most oblivious to everyone else. Sure Massachusetts’s drivers can be ass holes, but at least they are aware of other people on the road. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen a Rhode Island driver try to change lanes, or isn’t paying attention and crosses over the line, while someone is driving beside them. The other person then has to swerve to avoid getting hit and everyone else has to break. Not all drivers are this bad and don’t deserve hell, but the ones who are deserve to be punished for nearly killing countless people. I would put these people in the seventh circle for murder and force them to endure a never-ending car accident.

    - Emily McLaughlin

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  20. I am not sure that i would send anyone to hell. people make rash decisions based upon the circumstances in which they have been put in. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. We get punished for our crimes here so why should someone pay for their crimes for an eternity.

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  21. If I could send someone to hell it would people who abuse and mistreat children especially their own. I would have them stay in hell for eternity and suffer the most agonizing, painful, gruesome form of punishment imaginable for the pain they caused innocent children!

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  22. If I could send someone to hell it would probably be kanye west. He has such a cocky attitude as if he's the best rapper alive and is better than everyone. When Taylor swift won an award he disrespected her by going on stage and saying she didn't deserve that award. His clothing line gets me mad too, it's about $2,500 for a plain shirt with holes it in. Who wants that?!
    -Anna Root

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  23. I'm not sure I could hate or dislike someone to the point that I would place them in hell and give them a punishment that they will have to suffer for eternity. That alone is a scary thought. However, if I had to choose it would be all of the mothers or fathers who do not provide their full extent of care to their children. That is one of my biggest pet peeves; girls who seem to be mother of the year on social media but in real life don't spend enough quality time with their child for their own selfish reasons. We each only have one life to live and it is a parents responsibility to make sure that their children have the best childhood that they could possibly provide. I would put away all of the people who robs from a child's happiness, innocence, and childhood in general. I would place them in the circle of greed.

    - Jennifer Praticante

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